JOKES
Comedian of the week: Scott Capurro
By James Mullinger
For GQ
Since winning the Perrier Best Newcomer award in 1994, Californian comic Scott Capurro has been predominantly based in the UK. Catty, fiercely intelligent and often controversial, it’s no wonder the Guardian called him “the most fearless and technically perfect stand up on the circuit”.
He famously played Robin Williams’ make up artist in Mrs Doubtfire, but it is his work on the London comedy circuit that he is most loved for. Here are some of his funniest (printable) lines, prompting Time Out to say he is “One of the few genuinely challenging acts out there… a thoughtful, intelligent comic whose act has far more to it than pure shock value. He’s not preachy, he’s just camp, crude and incredibly funny.”
1. “Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your cat dance with you on its hind legs. You know it’s wrong, but you try to convince yourself that they’re enjoying it as well.”
2. “In combat if I came face to face with the enemy and he was hot, all I’d be able to say is, ‘OK soldier, on your knees’.”
3. “I’m glad Obama’s president, because it’s time to let the black guy f*** it up.”
4. “Of course Jesus Saves. He’s got no overhead.”
5. “A scruffy Christian handed me a flyer saying ‘Jesus is coming’ and I thought, ‘Jesus is coming and that’s what you’re wearing?’
6. “In America the coastal cities are nice because people in them still read. But the farther you get from water, the dumber Americans seem, but maybe they’re not dumb. Maybe they’re just dehydrated.”
7. “I’m gay, so why would I want to get married? I’d prefer my sex life to continue.”
Scott Capurro is on at the Leicester Square Theatre on Wednesday 14 April at 9.30pm. His live comedy chat show Scott Capurro’s Position, featuring Matt Lucas, Barb Jungr and Gail Porter, is on Thursday 1 April at 8pm at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern.
Published 23 Mar 2010