So I’m in the world’s coldest capital city, but it’s summer, so it’s ok. I guess. It’s raining and it smells like hummous, but I’m on anti anxiety pills so everything is ok. I was just in Toronto last week, working at Yuk Yuks, which was lovely. At the late show Saturday, however, a black woman threatened to shoot me. Twice. Other than that, Toronto was great.
Not sure what I’d said. Again, pills…the entire world is floating by. But she was mad, and I was bored, so I might’ve said anything. How can i be responsible for what comes out of my mouth, when I’m on stage for hours every night and lots of stuff flies outta there. I might have dropped the n-bomb. Not sure. The other comics laughed. I think. Pills…
Ottawa looks poor from the taxi, but I’m sure it’s gonna be great. Gay Pride weekend and all. You’re right, that is terrifying, but I’ll soldier on. I’ve checked craigslist and there’s nothing. I might have to bring in a hooker, but here a blowjob shouldn’t cost more than a bread roll and the use of my hotel shower.
Gays. In Ottawa. Part of me would rather be shot. Guess which part.
PS: the hotel desk guys are speaking French. I don’t, but it sounds weird. Like French with a BAD accent. Why is Canada so literal?
xx
PPS: One is hot. But chubby. But hot.