So i’m on my way to Edinburgh, for the Fringe. I should be hoaning and reshaping my stunning stand up act, preparing it for the comedy vultures, but then why bother? I’ll write most of it up there, and it’s more likely i’ll end up chatting with the locals from the stage each night. It’s […]
Richard and Judy
I’m in London, and today I was on Richard and Judy (google them if you don’t know who they are, they’re married and have been huge on brit TV for eons), talking about gay animals. They’re both lovely, she’s quite dainty and he talks so fast I forgot to listen to what he was saying […]
Prague Fringe Festival Review
The Prague Fringe Festival, Second Night May 30, 2006 6 p.m. Scott Capurro, Yankee Dog Pig Scott Capurro is crude, rude and out of line. He’s also hilarious. There is nothing sacred in Capurro’s world. In fact, everything from Anne Frank to racial stereotypes is fair game. Even Capurro’s queerness is worth a lacerating look. […]
So, here are some articles i’ve recently written. Enjoy, or don’t. It’s, as always, up to you.
A Killer Slays Me The Sunday Times August 2004 Why do people fall in love with convicted murderers? Maybe the criminal’s celebrity status makes them appealing. There’s definitely something very fresh about a handsome young man crying on camera. That’s where I first saw the Menendez boys – on Court TV, in July, 1993. It’s […]
Tazz and I had a date, which he called to cancel, saying he’d met someone else. He knew I wouldn’t mind, our relationship wasn’t serious, I’d not even asked he be monogamous.
Fair enough. It’s true, after dating for almost three months I didn’t know his last name, nor had I clocked where he worked, although I suspected he was an architect, or perhaps that was merely what I told friends.
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Single Investment
For AXM Magazine, April 2006 So I’m taking the plunge. I’ve decided to buy a flat in London. This chunk of money I earned doing careless stand up on TV is idle in an account, and I thought property would be a good, guilt-free investment. Or maybe not. As I stroll through Bethnal Green, looking […]
Mini Cooper
I’m house sitting in Queens Park (QP) and there are children everywhere. They even go to school, so you know they’re posh. And loud and privileged and white and, horror, abundant. Rumor is that this used to be a nice area, working class Irish and then slightly black, until a few queers appeared, and bling! An organic cafÈ sprouted, complete with dry muffins at three pounds a thump and really expensive watery coffee.
In Luv In Shmuv
My ex was born on Valentine’s Day, a very, very long time ago. He popped out, some glaciers thawed, and eventually amphibians crawled ashore. I think the wheel was invented during Jeff’s puberty. He avoids California, fearing an earth tremor might rearrange his surgically-implanted plastic chin while dislodging his glass eye, making him look either traumatized or like Latoya Jackson, which are kind of the same thing.
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Talkin’ ‘Bout My Self-obsession
AXM Article for January 2006 As I curl up near my newest Mac, humming along with The Way We Were, cozy in my Mui Mui jeans and indigo V-neck purchased in Paris, left wrist light but sheathed by a super-slim, silver Tiffany timepiece, I wonder, why am I dressed so well? It’s a lazy day, […]
Hurry Down My Chimney
Santa wakes me up on Christmas morning. I’m his last delivery. We smoke a spliff. He looks good. He’s lost weight and, instead of those silly clear spectacles, he’s sporting narrow black Gucci frames that rest coyly on his newly dapper cheekbones. He puts his manicured hand on my shoulder whenever he speaks of home, and I realize his face looks slimmer because he’s trimmed back his beard.
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