Columnist Scott Capurro Subject Sore Spot PQ “I was sure that by 45 I’d be a huge international success, loaded with plaudits, wearing tweed blazers and seducing 19-year-olds at book signings” As a youth, I looked forward to my 40s as my semi-retired, mostly vacationing decade. I was sure then that by 45 I’d be […]
This new year’s ‘celebration’ seems a bit moan-y to me whilst re-reading, but i admire the artistry. Oh, fuck off, i’m kidding, the artistry is far too subtle for you to understand. Speaking of flabbiness, I am SO depressed after trying on clothes today. I am, officially, flabby. Not fat. That would be pitiful. Instead I have skinny flab, which makes me look like a lazy faggot who relies on his charms. But the reality is, I work out every day! Between the yoga and the swimming, I barely have time to cruise hotel toilets. I guess I have to cut back on the pasta and brownies. I’m loosing the struggle with gravity. Sorry, I’ve lost it. But enjoy the article.x
Columnist Scott Capurro Subject Sore Spot PQ “I was sure that by 45 I’d be a huge international success, loaded with plaudits, wearing tweed blazers and seducing 19-year-olds at book signings” As a youth, I looked forward to my 40s as my semi-retired, mostly vacationing decade. I was sure then that by 45 I’d be […]
Lesbians don’t really scare me, in general, but as an angry pack of politically correct wolves, they can seem daunting. Speaking of which, when will Ellen Degeneres be funny? Is it enough to dance like a dyke on a dull-witted chat show? Someone has to drop her and Oprah down a well, and soon. Trying to explain everything is going to kill us all. Sometimes the most interesting thing about being alive is the complete absence of conscious thought. Not everything can be Oprah-fied, including her own lesbianism. Anyway, here’s my reaction to small minds.
Scott Capurro GT December 2007 Because I’m a male cocksucker, I get invited to all sorts of liberal events. I suppose lefties mistakenly assume that fucking boy butt means I share their views. For example, when I think animals, I think yummy, what’s for dinner? “You can’t boil a lobster!” I was told, at an […]
found this on craigslist, in the gay section (duh) and thought you kids might enjoy it. if this doesn’t prove that the terrorists haven’t won, i’m not sure what else will. x
wild sissy in heat Reply to: pers-541902193@craigslist.org Date: 2008-01-17, 12:41AM i’m all alone in a hotel room, reading my magazine and sipping champagne. i fall asleep. you show up and find me in the dark moaning and begging you to fuck me, panting like a puppy on the mattress, lubed and ready…. jocks frat boys […]
It went ok, thank Hillary
So I did the 2 previews of my new show, Laughtershock, this weekend past. At the Marsh in San Francisco. The shows went well, and of course, the audience was ideal: A room full (ish) of theatre goers who are also comedy savvy. So they liked the theatricality of my pauses, which were, overall, intentional; […]
First off, I thought I’d let you know about this:
The Marsh presents Scott Capurro’s Laughtershock Friday, January 11 & Saturday, January 12, 2008 at 8pm Banned in Australia? Booed in Brighton? Asked to tone it down at the Frog and Bucket in Manchester? What is the world of “alternative” comedy coming to? Leave it to KLLC regular and shocking comic Scott Capurro to ask […]
So here’s my November article for Gay Times, and this retard shit really happened. This sweet guy on the bus sort of harassed me, but he reminded me of some material I was trying to justify, discussing excuses, which have replaced explanations. Nobody seems to be able to explain their own behavior, and I haven’t heard anyone really apologize for anything that matters for so long. I think Jimmy Carter was the last public official to say he/she was sorry. I like Tony Blair, he’s glamorous and smart, but he’s got A LOT of explaining to do. I mean, I’m over the smile, especially now that’s he’s sort of fixed his front tooth, but not really. How hard is it to straighten a tooth? Isn’t he rich? I mean, what the fuck?
Scott Capurro GT November 2007 Whilst heading for the last empty seat on a San Francisco bus, I stumbled over a rider’s white sneaker, and apologized. “That’s alright,” he said, “don’t worry. I know you. You’re that man from the store.” I wasn’t sure which store. I’m always in search of the perfect cashmere V-neck, […]
This just appeared in the San Francisco Guardian. I like it, it’s funny and not scary. I enjoyed this show last night, we only had 50 turn up but the weather was AWFUL and my Paul Smith trousers (new, black, gorgeous) were soaked by the time I arrived. But the crowd was mostly into it, and I did loads of new stuff; I even paid homage to Bhutto. Poor dead (CRAZY, CORRUPT but our only chance for balance) bitch. I cried all day about her death. Then I did the gay jokey dance. No wonder I’m alone. And what’s up with Catherine Tate being called a racist? How come suddenly everyone is now labeled ‘racist’, except people who actually are racist? Bush has given racism a very bad name. Comics be warned. Anyway…
COMEDY “Scott Capurro’s Dirty Gift” Scott Capurro, a gay comedian from Daly City, probably gets his inspiration elsewhere. He is a world traveler and somehow manages to make trite subjects like mothers, hotel rooms, gangs, and being heckled seem freshly funny. When Christmas — the least funny day of the year — is two days […]
So this just appeared on line. Or at least, I’ve only just read it, and it’s dated this month, so…I think it’s interesting, because it makes me sound very dangerous. I think of my act as mainstream – set up, example, punchline – but I suppose I have to take responsibility for the subjects I cover. Although, again, I talk mostly about current events and race, so really, my subjects are pretty much front page stuff. Whatever. Comedy is personal, when it’s good.
Oh, and this is lifted from Chortle.co.uk, a UK comedy website that’s favored within this biz we call show. And after some producers read this, it will be more clear why I never get work in Disney films. Enjoy. xxx Scott Capurro is brutally uncompromising in his attitude, defiantly challenging audiences to accept him for […]
Ok, here’s some info about my trip to Canada. Toronto is a generous town, full of hungry husbands with nothing better to do than inspect my suite. I was shocked how small and slightly snipey the comedy world is there. I mean, it’s Canada. You expect everyone to be arms akimbo, at all times, and very kind. Syrupy, to coin a Canadian phrase. But there’s just not enough work to sustain all the comic geniuses there, so things get competitive and tense and there can be tears. Not mine. Crying is a white person thing.
Scott Capurro GT October 2007 Hotel rooms are a cock magnet. Even this traveling tanned carcass can lure away from their offices married men seeking a quick fix in innocuous surroundings. My room is a model U.N., proving the cultural diversity of Toronto is no myth: Every country, it seems, has been through my door. […]
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