Comic. Actor. Author. Playwright.

Scott Capurro was reared in San Francisco. At age 3, he swam the English Channel. Since 1993, he’s avoided AIDS by telling unsavory jokes in every English speaking country. Scott is trusting and thus surrounded by duplicity, yet he continues challenging himself, because he’s physically challenged and emotionally unavailable, aka married.

Described by San Francisco Weekly (free press, edited by lesbians and designed by trannys with large hands and hidden agendas) as “stand-up in the very best possible sense – deadpan, ever-alert and hilarious”.

Scott has appeared in Mrs. Doubtfire, where, effortlessly, he played a homosexual; and Star Wars: Phantom Menace, where, breathlessly, he wore a body stocking. A gay designer who sports two heads might’ve been a predictable sequel; instead Scott waddled off to the UK, in search of a compassionate, creative culture.

Disappointed and slightly bloated, Scott spends hours each day playing classical piano, conversing in French and managing his meds. He knows (wink, wink) several death row inmates and George Clooney. Well, he met George once. They’re both vegetarians. Actually, Scott is. Clooney said he was, to impress Scott.  Guys on death row eat anything.